Tuesday, November 23, 2010

My plan for world domination

It's been a while since I've posted. So, here goes:


MY PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION.

1. Graduate
2. Get a decent job with a decent paycheck
3. Use the spare change from my monthly salary to open a business. (Plus bank loan, if necessary)

Fast forward 10 years after Step #3:

4. Use some of the profit from business to open a shelter for abandoned cats and dogs.
5. Active promotion via YouTube and Facebook showing the cuteness of the kittehs and doggies.
6. Expand overseas through donations
7. Repeat Step 5 and 6

===> WORLD DOMINATION!!!!


See, who says world domination can't go hand-in-hand with morality.

Besides, cats have always longed for world domination. I am helping them achieve it.

Meanwhile, do visit websites for animal shelter; help take care of those animals in need of our love.

http://www.spca.org.my/v51/

Some websites about cats:

http://icanhascheezburger.com/
http://www.theittybittykittycommittee.com/
http://fuckyeahfelines.tumblr.com/

P.S.: If you see anyone hurting animals in any way, just shoot them square on the head. Scum like that doesn't deserve to live.

P.P.S: If any of you need a wrench to shove up that person's arse, contact me.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Latest Ramblings from Q1 2010 (First Quarter, 2010)

Road Crossings et. al.

UiTM Shah Alam's Science & Technology (S&T) Complex
comprises of 5 faculties: Civil, Mechanical, Medicine, Electrical, and Chemical Engineering. The funny thing is, 90% of the girls there exhibit a similar trait. That is, how they cross the road.

See, this S&T Complex sits right in front of 2 female student hostels; namely Mawar and Melati, which makes the 2-lane road that splits them a fluid sardine can every peak hours. (0800, 1200, 1800). Being a student there for almost 4 years, I observed that there is an uncanny similarity of how about 85% of the girls there cross the road. I'll outline the steps one by one for you.

1. Stand at the curb (usually they'll travel in groups of 2 to 4)
2. Look left and right (ONCE!)
3. Cross the 1st lane. If there's a vehicle in a distance of 3-5 meters, it is (STILL) deemed safe.
4. Suddenly, in the middle of the 1st lane, one person decides (says) "eh eh, krete, krete, back, back...".
Here, either 2 things happen:
a) they fully retreat to the curb, GIGGLING "hee hee hee...".
b)they stay there, right smack in the middle of the 1st lane, GIGGLING "hee hee hee...".

When option (a) takes place; the passing car goes through, with a facepalm.avi inscribed on their faces.

When option (b) takes place, the passing car stops, allowing the group to pass. The driver wears a smile, that can ONLY translate to (Hai, gilo apo bebudok nih.. [kecek Kelate for teh LOLz])

Once in a blue moon, some drivers would raise their right hand ala Karam Singh Walia, maybe while saying "WOI, MAU MATI KA???!!!!111!!!" Funny, I did this once.. :P

So, after the crossing has occured, the GIGGLING will continue until they reach the other side of the road.

Rapid KL Pole Hoggers

This behavourial pattern is usually observed in Rapid KL buses, no matter la which bus, but for the sake of simplicity I'll narrow it down to 3 in particular: Laluan Dalaman, T603 and T604.

Again, being a student in UiTM Shah Alam for almost 4 years, I have come to a conclusion that 98% of UiTM female students who use Rapid KL to go to their classes every day have a potential to become POLE DANCERS. Yes, POLE DANCERS. I maybe stereotyping, but just bear with me for a moment.

Now, what those girls usually do (especially during peak hours), is RUSH to the bus front door, pushing like some hungry Somalis in front of a UN rations truck; all trying to get in for a single, SINGLE objective: to get a seat. I don't get it.

JUST FARKING QUEUE LA, GODDAMN IT!

Now here's where it gets interesting. The first 10 person to get in will; without fail, find the nearest pole and hug it. Not hold it, HUG IT. It is until they realize there are more people is reaching for the pole then they give up some space. Oh, about 10 cm like that....

Now, all them pole hoggers cause another problem. Since the poles are mostly at the front of the bus, they are bottlenecking other passengers who are trying to get in. It's either when someone, oh let's say, ME, say "Akak, tolong masuk ke dalam sikit boleh?" Then they move. About 30 cm above, like that. Well, at least I can move to the back; because I don't want to smell their farts (ok, that one is just for teh LOLz).

Then the driver gets in, saying "Dik, tolong gerak ke belakang..". Well guess what? Now they all move orderly to the back, occupying all the spaces.

However, in extreme cases, the driver will open the back door and let the others to get in.

Now, can you understand my stereotyping of the said group of females?

So, what's the moral of the story?

Discuss.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

From Malaysian Insider: Don't tell us how to pray

Taken from http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/malaysia/49330-dont-tell-us-how-to-pray-borneo-states-say- (12/1/10, 1656 Local M'sian time)


KUALA LUMPUR, JAN 12 — The battle might be between the Roman Catholic Church and the government over the right to use “Allah” but the ones most affected are those in Sabah and Sarawak.

As Sabah leader Tan Sri Bernard Dompok pointed out, they worship in Bahasa Malaysia as its the national language and Bibles are in that language because it is not feasible to print or translate it to their various dialects.

More importantly, “Allah” is their word for God, the same as for the Malays, who borrowed it from the Arabs.

Semantics aside, the people in Borneo do not see the fuss or problem over the name of God.

The Muslims in Sarawak, Jack (who asked that only his first name be used) reasoned, were not just tolerant of other faiths. They have accepted non-Muslims as a daily fact of life the same way parents accept that their children have different personalities.

A government servant, he had earlier said he hoped the spate of attacks against churches in the peninsula would not spill over into Sarawak.

Though he was upset over the broken windows of the Anglican Good Shepherd Church in Lutong, Miri, Jack’s faith in Sarawak’s Muslims has not been shaken.

“I hugely believe that this is an isolated case, and most Sarawakian Muslims and also Sarawakians are surprised that such an incident could happen at all in Sarawak,” said Jack. Many of the people interviewed for this article asked that their names be changed due to the volatility of the topic.

It is this renowned bond between the non-Muslims and Muslims of Sarawak and Sabah that has often been held up by peninsula politicians as the ultimate model of race-relations.

Yet while these politicians speak highly of East Malaysia’s ethnic unity, they seldom make any serious attempt to get peninsular Malaysians to emulate it.

Conversely, says Sabahans and Sarawakians interviewed by The Malaysian Insider, the insular race, religion and language politics of the peninsula have often been imported and forced upon East Malaysians for as long as the states have been part of the federation.

And this is what unsettles them when it comes to the turmoil about who gets to use “Allah”: that again, the peninsula-centric Federal government is telling them to change an elemental aspect of their lives that has never before been a problem.

In other words, says a Sabah Government officer, it was never a problem until the “Semenanjung” people made it a problem.


NO FURORE HERE

When his friends greet him with the salaam, Mujahid, 20, is never confused as to whether the person is a Muslim or not. Nor does it matter to him.

Neither does he or the Sarawakian Muslims he knows think to ask why Christians in the state use “Allah” in their prayers or sermons.

“It is very condescending to me when someone tells me that I will be confused when non-Muslims use ‘Allah’ because my faith (in Islam) is not weak … Me and my family are extremely disappointed by the uproar and all these attacks on churches,” says Mujahid, a university student.

Sarawakians and Sabahans are saddened by how an age-old community norm of theirs has suddenly turned into a fractious issue by those who do not understand the history of the practice.

Dayak community leader Dr John Brian Anthony explains how when Christianity was being propagated to the East Malaysian natives roughly 100 years ago, the texts that were used were imported from Indonesia.

These texts used the term Allah and were in Bahasa Indonesia, which was similar to the Melayu Kuno used by the natives.

“My elders and me use the same text till today because that is the language we know. If someone tells me that my language is wrong, then I say ‘Why?’ Is it about Aqidah (faith) or is it about form?”

The Home Ministry banned the use of Allah in The Herald’s Bahasa Malaysia section. Yet it is this version which is widely read by Catholics and other Christians in East Malaysia.

When the High Court overturned the ban in Dec 31 last year, it caused an uproar among peninsula-based Muslim groups.

However, Anthony says, East Malaysian Muslims have never opposed the use of “Allah” by Christians and other non-Muslims.

Political scientist Dr Faisal Syam Hazis of Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (Unimas) puts it another way: “The use of Allah by non-Muslims has already been embedded in East Malaysian society for more than 100 years. It has never been an issue. So why are these peninsula Muslims suddenly jumping up and down over it?”


CONFUSION

For Dr Zaini Othman of Universiti Malaysia Sabah, the “confusion” that is being felt by the Muslims he meets in the state is why the issue being raised now.

“Based on my daily experience with Sabahans, this is what they are asking. They feel that there is a hidden political agenda behind it.”

Though the Federal government has been at pains to stress that the issue is not about political mileage, Kuching-based blogger Norman Goh doubts that the violence it has spurred is being tackled seriously.

“First you allow the protests (by Muslim groups). Then when the attacks happen, you say [you] ‘might’ use the ISA (Internal Security Act). When Hindraf, Bersih and Bar Council rallies occurred, you did not hesitate to use the ISA,” says Goh, 23.

Faisal’s colleague, Dr Andrew Aeria, was unequivocal in his reading of the debacle.

“The view here is that Umno has fanned all of this. They seek to impose their racist imaginings on the rest of Malaysia without realising that Malaysia also contains Sarawak and Sabah.”

What Aeria is referring to is the fluid, non-communal approach to ethnic relations in East Malaysia, where groups do not seek to impose their norms or beliefs onto others.

It is helped by the fact that in the historical memory and the demographics of these two states, no group has been dominant.

The ethnic demarcations are also not enforced by politics, says Aeria, where political parties are not formed just to serve one group.

“Some parties have many members of one group but they are intrinsically multi-racial. This is where you see parties like SUPP (Sarawak United People’s Party) that looks like a Chinese party but it fields Bumiputera candidates.”


PENINSULA ‘RACIST’?

Unimas’ Aeria and Faisal also dispute the views of a Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) race-relations expert who contended that for Sarawak Muslims, religion was not as important as tribal identity.

In a previous The Malaysian Insider article, Prof Dr Mansor Mohd Noor of UKM Inter-ethnic Studies Institute gave an opinion that Peninsula Muslims were less tolerant when it came to questions on Islam than their Sarawak and Sabah brethren.

“For Muslims in East Malaysia, the use of ‘Allah’ by non-Muslims is not a problem because their identity is tied to a tribe rather than to a religion,” Mansor has said in the article titled “Allah unites some and divides others”.

“Saying that is almost like saying we Sarawak Muslims are less Islamic than the ones in the peninsula just because we can tolerate Christians using ‘Allah’,” says Faisal.

East Malaysians of all creeds are passionate about their faith and identity but they were more accepting of each other, says Aeria.

“If you are saying that peninsula Muslims cannot be as tolerant as the ones in East Malaysia, are you saying that peninsula Muslims want to remain racist? What is wrong with emulating East Malaysian tolerance?”

Conversely, since the debate over whether to allow non-Muslims to use “Allah” is currently being determined in the peninsula, it seems that West Malaysians have no problems imposing their beliefs on East Malaysians.

And that, says those interviewed, would be very unfortunate for Sarawak and Sabah.